Contrast

Relationships are quite different for Chinese and Americans. Although the origins and the results of love can be the same, people have different ways to express their love. The father in The Glass Castle and my father both build castles for their beloved princesses, however, one is glass and one is solid.

First of all, essentially, our fathers are quite different for they have different backgrounds.

My father is well-educated in university and believes in science while Jeannette's father knows nothing about science, "Your mother should have taken you to that witch doctor the day you got burned,not to these heads-up-their-asses med-school quacks."Rex even despises science.

Both Jeannette and I spent time in the hospital as children. While my father went to every corner of the city to find the best medicine for me, Jeannette's father "saved" her by checking her out of the hospital in a Rex Walls-style.

My father is gentle and polite, but Jeannette's father is quite violent. "Dad stared at the doctor (quote?) and said that" I wasn't the only one who was going to walk out of there scarred." Jeannette's father is a bad guy, however, he doesn't fake his genuine love for his daughter. And Jeannette still loves her father although he behaves in such a coarse way, "I breathed in his familiar smell of Vitalis, whiskey, and cigarette smoke. It reminded me of home." For my father, he only drinks when he has to do so and he never smokes a cigarette. He teaches me to be polite and well-behaved by doing so himself. He shows me how to be grateful to someone who saved my life, to be considerate, and to be tolerant to others. He is my hero who knows everything and is always helpful. Jeannette's father is also her hero because he cares about her, unlike her cold careless mom, although he does bad things.

Second, their ways of caring about their treasure are different, maybe because of their different cultures.

My father cares about me so much that he protects me from every danger even it's not severe at all. He used to come to my room to see if I was back safe every day in my childhood. He once took me to 3 hospitals because I was having a high fever and wouldn't recover. He forbids me doing so many risky things which are quite attractive for me because I am always curious. Maybe that's because he is a typical traditional Chinese father who is very conservative and cautious.

And that's totally opposite for Jeannette's father. He even "thought I should face down my enemy" and "showed me how to pass my finger through a candle flame."This is not necessarily strange for a child. But for someone who has just recovered from a life-threatening burn, it can be so dangerous. On one hand, Jeannette may get burned again. On the other, this may help her become a brave girl and overcome her bad past experience. Maybe Americans are always independent and are ready for adventures. Being protected so well is not always a good thing. It makes me lose a chance to build my own fence. To some extent, I envy Jeannette who can enjoy exploring the world by herself instead of being told what to do all the time.

In a nutshell, because of different backgrounds and different cultures, our fathers' ways to love their daughters vary. Maybe my father builds a more solid castle to prevent me from being hurt, but Jeannette's father builds a glass castle where Jeannette can see the world by herself. However, different ways lead to the same destination--their love are all from the deepest part of their hearts. Love is universally the same.

My Love-hate Relationship with my Father

The yellow dim light surrounding the door became wider and brighter. I could recognize the weaving shape of my father, poking his head into my room. After confirming I was back home and asleep, he must have smiled, satisfied and relieved, then walked staggering to his bed.

This happened every night when I was a child. Dad would come to my room to see if I was back safe and sound and asleep. Sometimes he had to drink a lot at his business dinners and forgot everything except coming to my room to see me. There was always a strong and tall shape guarding my door in my dreams.

My father has always been my hero, who gave all he could to build a castle for his princess. He sent me to the best school in our community and provided me a great growing environment. He even spent a lot of money to rent a house near my high school to make it easier for me to study there. Every day I could walk to school within five minutes, which was a huge source of envy to my classmates. And it contributed to my grades indirectly, which I also appreciated a lot.

Every weekend was the most exciting part of my childhood when I was young. Because my parents were both busy during work days, my father would try his best to spare a day or more to be with me on weekends. His employees could never imagine their serious boss wearing an apron in the kitchen cooking carefully and enjoyably. If time allowed, he loved to cook for his beloved daughter. He enjoyed my delighted face when I tasted it. Although it was just simple food, I miss it a lot now.

His love was genuine and direct. And I loved him back fully. 

I tried my best on studies so he would be happy and proud of me. I did every thing he liked. 

However, his love sometimes made me feel guilty and afraid. Sometimes it seemed I was the whole world to him, and that kind of love was so heavy to a little girl. I still remember when I was badly ill in my third grade of high school, he worried about me so much. I had a high fever for one week and lost my appetite. His face was like the heavy dark sky before rain.   He wouldn't eat unless I ate something.

I know he cared about me too much. Actually I appreciated it a lot, but I was also heart-broken to hurt him. 

I had to do things I didn't like at all. His love is so controlling  that it leaves no space for me.

He decided my major, chose what I should wear, taught me how to behave well in front of others. And although most of time he was right because he was really wise and experienced, it still made me feel bad because I lost the chance to form my own ideas and make my own decisions. I just became what he wanted me to become. And although I seemed fine outside, there was always freedom yelling inside me.

I was trapped in the dilemma. 

One part of me wants to be independent, wants to live my own life. The other part loves my father no less than he loves me and doesn't want to hurt him. As I grow up and gradually have my own thoughts, the dilemma becomes harder and harder. It's hurting to do things I don't like, but it's also hurting to let my father down. It's always hard to find a balance between responsibility and freedom. 

Six Flags Adventure

Screaming could be heard from far away which awakened our fears and excitements.The first sight of Six Flags made my mouth fall open! The largest longest roller coaster stands like a giant. It's the biggest one I have ever seen. Other thrill rides gather around it like a gang. Just looking at them made me excited and I could hear my heart yelling"go ahead!"

Featuring hundreds of roller coasters, thrill rides and family attractions, Six Flags is the biggest regional theme park in the world! Six Flags is so famous that early in the morning there were already thousands of people waiting at the entrance gate. 
After a long time, we got into the theme park. Considering the largest one must be the most scary one, we first went to a smaller roller coaster. We thought it was just a warm-up,but we were totally wrong. The seemingly-small one was so fast and turned 270 degree in the air. My hands gripped the handle tightly as if it was my lover's hand  when I was on the ride. I thought that I would never get on a roller coaster again. People sitting behind me screamed a lot. My ears were even damaged deaf by them.I probably screamed to death myself but I didn't notice. Thrilling but too fast, I thought I was dying, but then we stopped. I was dragging my flaccid feet to get off. And I could still feel my heart pounding as if in an intense horse race . My friend was so scared that his hand was cold and sweaty. Looking at each other, standing on the ground, we both took a deep breath and felt relieved.
Then we went to a circling machine. It looked like a merry-go-round but the horse was not fixed and it could fly to the sky like a swing. I loved the feeling of freedom and the lack of constraint. So I really enjoyed the ride a lot. I was flying towards the crystal blue sky and the cotton candy like cloud ran into me. The wind was fresh and cosy. But when I turned around to look at my friend, he was as rigid as a robot, sitting still with a poker face. That made me feel kind of funny because I thought he was a yellow chicken. However, the fact is that he is afraid of heights while I am more afraid of speed.
After that we went on 2 more thrill rides, but time was so limited we even didn't have time for the water park. It was terrible on every ride and I even thought I would die on it,but it is funny that when I got off , I wanted to try it again and again. Dying makes me feel alive.

White Rose

She is the most special one. However she is gone.

Looking towards the bridge where they first met, his eyes actually focused on nothing. His back is lonely and rigid. Without her, his eyes lose concentration and so does his heart. 

"I WILL make you remember me."

Her amber eyes sparkled with danger and desire, like the attractive evil pandora box. 

"White Rose..."he said painfully and silently,holding the white rose in his hand tight, as if he could get her back.

He still remembers clearly as if it was yesterday that the first time they met, she was in a white dress, pure like the crystal, passionate as a sin. 

He is known as a cold person. Always calm and rational. But the first sight of her took his breath.  Her black straight long hair was softly dancing in the wind, along with the white dress. The golden sunset drew the line of her slim body, glorious and saint. He just can't take her out of his mind. 

Just a common beautiful girl, he thought to himself, trying to calm down. But she suddenly turned around, the light in her amber eyes was graceful and gorgeous. 

She is the one.

He noticed her intensity, instead of a rosy cheek and a shy smile a pure girl like her should have.She  smiled in a enchanting way, and walked straight towards him. 

He was stuck for a moment, what was happening was out of his expectation.  

"Do you wanna dance with me?"

"Em....Of course, your name please, my lady?"

"White Rose."

Mysterious, he got more interested in her.

"Haha, pretty name. But not as pretty as you are."

She burst into laughter, and took his hand,then ran into the narrow dim street. Her pace was light and full of enthusiasm. Looking at her thin back, impressed by her youth and energy, he felt she was his sunshine. 

They stopped at an unimpressive park, danced in the glory of the sunset light. Time stopped. How he wished it was eternity. Holding her hand tight, he looked into her eyes. Her skin is smooth and healthy, white like ice-cream. The silver earrings shined beautifully under the sun. Her simple white dress was decorated with subtle laces. 

"You are so gorgeous. I love your earrings."

She kept silent for a while, then raised her head smiling bitterly.

"These earrings belong to my mum. Um...I escaped from my home."

"Why? Did they abuse you?"

"Nono, not at all. I am the pearl in their hand,living without worries yet no freedom. I am more like the vase they bought and kept in a dark room, only brought out to show off."

"Oh, don't say that. They love you. "

"Yeah, you don't understand. They just love me too much. I want freedom like wind. I want to try new things and take risks to do what I want instead of being a sensible good good girl all the time."

Her eyes were filled with disappointment and agony. 

"I hated myself wearing a graceful girl's mask and pretending to be nice all the time. I am tired of pretending."

"Relax, it's not your fault."

"Take me somewhere new. I want to be with you."

"Hey you don't even know my name."

"I'm with you."

He hesitated, like deer in the headlights, all he has is an old black package, he can't promise her the moon. Coming with him only means misery and suffering. 

She is so fragile and well-bred in a rich family. An innocent angel with a wild mind. He loves her, but he just can't take her away. She belongs to somewhere he can never reach. There's no way ahead for them. 

After all, he is rational. 

"No girl. I can't take you away. Go home and be safe. I love you but I just can't."

She shaded her head with tears in her eyes. 

He hesitated again, his heart was pierced by her crystal tears.

"All right, come with me."

They really had a romantic time, ignoring poverty and the uncertainty of the future. He was impressed by her brilliant wild thoughts and her wisdom. She is so special unlike any other girl he had met before. And he gave all he could to treat her well.

They attracted each other so much. 

However, stunning days end so quickly. Red fire turned blue. They began to argue with some details in their life. After all, they don't belong to the same world.

Furthermore, her weak body can't stand the difficulties in the slum dog. 

She was ill.

Lying on the small old bed in their room, her face was white as a white rose, plain and heartbreaking. He could do nothing to save her. He was so poor.

He even sold his black package, but his efforts were in vain. She passed away.

He has nothing now.

He was driven away from the house they rented. Hanging aimlessly around the road, he saw a white rose growing near the bridge where they first met.

His heart is pounding fast, all the memories flash back. His eyes were full of tears, shinning under the glory sunset light.

Taking off the white rose carefully, he holds it tight.

"White rose..."

He was in pain and sorrow. The sky turned red like the enthusiasm of her. It never dies.  

He looks at the red sky, holding the white rose rigidly. 

"I will remember you forever. My white rose with a red mind."

  

My sweet room

The most relaxing thing in the world is to lie down on my big soft double bed. The silk sheet decorated with small flowers touches my skin cool and smoothly. Stretching out my arms and legs, I feel I am lying on the Hawaii's soft warm sand and the breeze strokes my body. Holding a rosy velvet bunny pillow, I look up. The ceiling is light pink matching the white European-style bed below well. There're some books on the white bedside table. I really like the painting on the wall--a splendid sketch of the old boat station of Wuhan. It reminds me of my dream of being an architect. The crystal light hanging on the ceiling reflects in the glass of my big window. The window is bright and clean while the light is shinning. Outside the window, the horizon is grand and peaceful. There's a big well-designed park beneath named "Sunny Era". Trees stand tall and straight. And further there's a highway connecting Beijing and Tibet. I can hear birds singing in the morning. At night the lights of the highway light up in the dark like glittering stars.

High school adventure

The traffic was blocked again, but the hand of the clock kept moving relentlessly. My heart was pounding  . Through the galloping in my ears came the headmaster's words,
"All right, I will give you a last chance at 5:00pm."

It was 4:50 already. The school was in sight but I still needed a few minutes .Hardly had  the car stopped, when I jumped out and ran directly across the street heading for the school.

Here it was. On the splendid monument written" High School Affiliated to RUC". This is the dream school where I was desperate to get in. I would get a promising future if I managed to get in. Just about 2:00 that afternoon,the headmaster had called me to have an interview, which would finally decide whether I would be accepted.

When the headmaster called me, I was still in Wuhan, thousands of miles away from Beijing, totally unprepared for the interview. I was so excited because I thought I totally lost the chance when I took the transfer exam long time ago. No time left for me to think and prepare.

My parents and I were anxiously waiting outside the headmaster's office. She was still in a meeting. The hand of the clock already pointed to 6:00.  My heart was like ants on the hot pan.

Fortunately, she walked outside the meeting room and went to the office. She coldly greeted us and seated down, pulling down her face, seemed not having a good time at the meeting.

I was petrified when she started to look at my score report and said nothing, with a unsmiling face. After a long time, she started asking questions. I sat up straight and still,trying to be polite and smart,but I answered timidly. She didn't pay was attention to me because she even didn't raise her eyes when asking me. It was time I lost hope and wanted to give up.I even planned to continue studying in Wuhan separated from my parents.My frustration turned into anger. Why had she just gave me a chance and then refused me?It was like carrying you to the moon then letting you fall. My heart was broken.

Suddenly, she raised her head and said
" You do well in math and physics but you are not good at English."
My tears were about to fall down. I couldn't help interrupting her saying
" I really wanted to go there and I would spend more to catch up. "
She smiled and comforted me
" However, overall you are a good student."
My eyes lighted up and I was too amazed to believe what I heard. She said I was a good student and  I was accepted to this school!

When I walked through the small but carefully-designed park in front of the main building, trees with strong trunk and wide branches seemed to have been standing there for half a century.All was like a dream. The the traffic jam, the dust raised by my foot, the long long time waiting in headmaster's office, her poker face, all was like a plan well-arranged by the destiny. If the traffic jam went on, I wouldn't have got there timely. If the headmaster was not satisfied with my scores or my answers, I wouldn't get the chance to study in the best high school of Beijing.

First Sight of Yale

         

Tough Time on the Airplane

   Beautiful Night Scene on the Airplane

     After a long energy consuming flight of about 16 hours, I finally arrived at JFK at 5 o'clock am.

Cloudy Weather

     My first impression of NYC is  cold. I thought it would be hot like 30 celsius degrees or more. But the weather was rather cloudy, and the ground was still wet. It may have rained before.

Our Shuttle Reservation

There were not many people in the airport for it was only 5 o’clock in the morning. Our shuttle reservation was cancelled because of the flight delay. It took me some time to ask for a new shuttle. Furthermore, it was quite difficult for me to explain where Yale is to the Indian driver.
      The driver was nice but the price was really high. Actually the price itself was fair but we paid a lot of tips which is quite different from China. We were not sure about how much we needed to pay to him and there was a sign saying"20%tips" so we paid a 20% tips. I wonder if it's the common price we need to pay? Transportation is not so expensive in China. And we don't tip anybody except for a really luxury place.
     Eventually we arrived at Yale. But it was still too early. We were in trouble finding the right place. Fortunately, the staff here was really nice.A young lady took us to Morse and got the counselor for us. I am impressed that Americans are friendly and warm-hearted.
     What’s more, it’s convenient to shop here although still expensive. Shopping can be difficult for me because of the lack of vocabulary. But I will prepare well enough next time.    

Things are brand new here. I need to deal with things like the shuttle and shopping all by myself, so it's quite challenging. But I love challenges, in struggling I can learn more and experience more. For example, I’m don't have a good sense of direction. So it’s confusing to look at the map. But while getting into the wrong ways, I encountered many splendid buildings. And I became more familiar with the campus.  So now I could get to the destination much more easily and quickly than before.

Yale is really big and the environment is pictures cal, especially when I wake up in the morning the scenery outside my window is so beautiful and peaceful. It really makes me feel fresh and cozy. As you know, buildings in China are tall and crowded; such small and exquisite structures are rare and I really love them.

FIRST SIGHT OF YALE

Fresh cold morning

brand new thing

challenging but exciting

enjoy it while struggling

too much to explore

too much to experience

can not wait

opening a new page!